Single mother. Two words, and sometimes it feels as though people immediately fill in the rest of your story for you. As if they already know what your life looks like. What you are capable of. How far you will go. As if being a single mother automatically means you have fewer opportunities, less ambition, or that your life is mainly about surviving. I have never wanted to believe that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Don\u2019t get me wrong: the road has absolutely not been easy. Raising a child on your own, working, carrying all the responsibility and, at the same time, trying not to lose yourself takes a lot out of you. There were moments when I was tired. Moments when I didn\u2019t know how I was going to make everything work. And moments when I felt that other people doubted my abilities more than I ever doubted myself. But there was one thing I absolutely refused to do: become a victim of my circumstances. I couldn\u2019t always change what came my way, but I could decide how I responded to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think in solutions and possibilities. I always have. If something doesn\u2019t work one way, I look for another way. If one door closes, I don\u2019t stand in front of it forever. I look for another way in. That doesn\u2019t mean I have never been afraid or that I have never doubted myself. To me, perseverance doesn\u2019t mean being strong all the time. It means continuing even when things get difficult. And maybe that is one of the most important things being a single mother has taught me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You don\u2019t have to wait for someone else to believe in you. People can underestimate you. They can put you in a box. They can decide that something is too big for you, that you should simply be satisfied with what you have, or that your circumstances determine how far you can go. But their image of you never has to become the image you have of yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I kept working. I kept learning. I kept building. I kept dreaming. Not because everything was easy, but because I always believed there was more possible for me. As a single mother, I bought my own home. I started my own business. Not because someone told me I could do it, but because I decided that my situation would not determine what was possible for me. I am proud of that. Not only because of the house or the business, but because of the journey it took to get there. Because behind achievements like these are years of working, making choices, taking responsibility and refusing to give up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I also didn\u2019t want to simply tell my son that he should believe in himself. I wanted to show him. I wanted him to see that where you come from does not determine where you will end up. That going through a difficult period does not mean your life has to remain difficult. That you can start again. That you are allowed to be ambitious. And that you never have to think small simply because other people cannot see what you are capable of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t believe in pretending that everything is positive. Some things are simply hard. Some periods of life demand an incredible amount from you. But I do believe in repeatedly asking yourself: What can I do?<\/strong> Maybe I cannot solve the entire problem today. But what is my next step? Who can help me? What can I learn? What possibility have I not considered yet? That way of thinking has taken me much further than waiting for someone else to give me permission to dream bigger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So go ahead and underestimate me. Put me in a box if you need to. Just don\u2019t expect me to stay there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My circumstances tell you where I came from. They do not determine where I am going.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Love,<\/p>\n\n\n\n Jennifer<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Single mother. Two words, and sometimes it feels as though people immediately fill in the rest of your story for you. As if they already know what your life looks like. What you are capable of. How far you will go. As if being a single mother automatically means you have fewer opportunities, less ambition, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1168,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1092","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ongecategoriseerd"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flexibleassistance.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1092","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flexibleassistance.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flexibleassistance.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flexibleassistance.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flexibleassistance.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1092"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.flexibleassistance.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1092\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1093,"href":"https:\/\/www.flexibleassistance.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1092\/revisions\/1093"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flexibleassistance.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1168"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flexibleassistance.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1092"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flexibleassistance.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1092"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flexibleassistance.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1092"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}