Being single for eight months at 43 feels very different than being single at 23. Back then, being single was like a spontaneous city trip: fun, chaotic, and usually ending with a story you probably shouldn’t tell your mother. Now it’s more like a period of reflection and self-check-in. Time to rest, to heal, and to let go of everything that no longer serves me. And trust me, situationships were at the top of that list.
For those who know the word but may recognize the feeling all too well, a situationship is not a relationship, but it is not a non-relationship either. It exists in that vague in between space where you text, share intimacy, and sense expectations, yet no one ever says out loud where you actually stand. It is too much to let go of, and too little to build on. It feels safe because there is no label, but quietly it takes more energy than you want to admit.
I’m not on dating apps. Not because I think I’m better than that, but simply because I don’t have the patience for it. I’m 43, I have a 16-year-old son, a home I own, a car, and my own business. I can barely keep track of his football practices, let alone swipe through profiles of men who “don’t know what they’re looking for but might find it with me.” No thank you. I have enough to manage already.
I’ve noticed that some men can get intimidated by a woman who has her life together. It’s as if my mortgage somehow challenges their masculinity. I see it happen sometimes: I say I run my own business, and suddenly they freeze, like a human screensaver. It’s a shame, because I’m actually fun to be around and I don’t bite.
But honestly, this is exactly why I don’t fall in love as easily anymore. Being single teaches you a lot about yourself. You see your strengths, your boundaries, and most importantly, your value. I now know clearly what I want: a partner who is confident, grounded, and comfortable with a woman who has her life in order. Someone who appreciates that, rather than feels threatened by it.
I’m at a stage in life where I no longer spend energy on people who are “seeing where it goes.” At 18, maybe that’s fine. But at this age, we either know or we don’t. And if you don’t know, then I definitely know enough.
So no, I don’t have time for situationships. I have time for quality. For genuine connection. For a man who doesn’t back away when I tell him I have my life together, but instead thinks, “That fits perfectly with my life too.”
Until then, I’m enjoying my peace, my freedom, and the life I’ve built for myself. When love does arrive, I want it to be mature and real, grounded in honesty, balance, and mutual care. I want a partner who, as we grow older together, continues to choose the relationship we’re building and invests in it fully.
Love Jennifer
