We need to talk. And no, this isn’t an invitation for a glass of wine, because – spoiler alert – I don’t drink anymore. Not because I’ve suddenly adopted a super healthy lifestyle, but because my body is already creating enough chaos on its own. I’m in perimenopause. And no, it’s not just a phase. It’s a hormonal rollercoaster with no seatbelt.
It started off subtle. A little tired, a little cranky. Then came the heavy bleeding and mood swings that could knock down a wall. And through it all, you’re expected to keep going. Work, groceries, being social, keeping life on track – while your body acts like it’s falling apart.
What I’ve noticed? We women don’t talk about this enough. It’s like we’re supposed to be ashamed of our bodies changing. But here’s the thing: my ovaries are heading into retirement, and I would’ve appreciated a little newsletter about it. Instead, I’m dealing with mood swings, a memory like a sieve, and moments where I hardly recognize myself.
Luckily, I do talk about it. Openly and honestly. And you know what happens when I do? Other women open up too. What a relief. I’m not crazy. I’m not alone. And I’m definitely not some bitter old hag. My body is just doing its hormonal thing – and that deserves to be talked about.
Another thing I’ve noticed? Doctors are quick to pull out the antidepressants. “You’re feeling a bit low? Try this.” But hold on – I’m not depressed. I’m hormonally unbalanced. Big difference. So to every woman out there: stand up for yourself. Get your blood tested. Check your hormone levels. And if necessary: look into hormone therapy. Because no, you don’t have to just push through this. You’re allowed to ask for help. You’re allowed to demand to be taken seriously.
And now to that other thing: I don’t drink anymore. And surprisingly, that’s more complicated than the hormonal storm I’m dealing with. “Why not?” “Don’t be so boring!” – people actually say that. Why is not drinking suddenly suspicious? Why is it so unusual to just stay clear-headed?
My son said to me recently: “Good for you, mom, for not drinking. Why would you put something in your body that makes you feel worse?” And he’s right. Let’s be honest – it’s never just one glass. It’s always more. And then you’re either drunk or sick the next day. My body’s already under enough pressure – it doesn’t need alcohol on top of it.
So no, I don’t drink. Because I don’t need it. Because I feel better without it. And because – let’s be real – I’m already fun enough without alcohol.
One last thing: why do we never hear men talk about their andropause? Yes, men go through it too – with declining testosterone and symptoms like low energy, mood swings, reduced libido, erection problems, and grumpiness. But no one talks about it. No doctor visits, no hormones, no honest conversations. And yet, that’s exactly what’s needed.
PS to the men:
Do you feel tired, drained, or off balance? That’s okay. But don’t leave it at that. Get checked, talk about it. Hormonal changes affect you too. And if we all start taking better care of ourselves – being more honest, making healthier choices, talking more openly – then we don’t have to figure it all out alone.
Love,
Jennifer
